"I'm Tired of Feeling Unsupported!"
I can relate when my clients say this to me. As a relatively new entrepreneur, there are many days I feel like an "Army of One." However, feelings of overwhelm are not reserved for the self-employed.
- In corporate America, employees are doing the work of three people and can struggle to keep the plates spinning...
- Artists and creative types feel like they're on an island as they sit in solitude creating their great work...
- Bad communication in relationships can lead people to feeling like they aren't seen, heard, or supported by their partner...
- Single parents can run themselves to exhaustion between their career and raising a child by themselves...
These are all real life problems. However, if there is one spiritual principle that consistently holds true, it's this:
Whatever we experience in the outside world is a mirror of what we're experiencing in our inner world.
If you are not feeling supported by life, the quickest and most effective way to snap out of it is to ask "How can I better support myself right now?"
Take a moment and think about that. What do you need today? Do you need to go to a yoga class to quiet your mind and stretch your body? Do you need to say no to other people so you can make time for yourself?
Perhaps most importantly, do you need to ask for help?
We simply cannot receive what we are unwilling to ask for. Yet, what I see over and over is the idea of asking for support can trigger feelings of fear and unworthiness. We are afraid to ask for what we want because we're afraid people will reject us and we will have to do it on our own.
By not asking for help, we end up producing the outcome we fear most. We ultimately reject ourselves, ensuring we will not get assistance from those who can offer support.
One of the best recent examples I've seen was the client who was taught by her parents from an early age that "nobody wants to hear you complain." She was told to give people a firm handshake and ask them about themselves.
On the surface, this advice came with the best of intentions. Obviously, the parents didn't want to raise a narcissist who focused 100% on themselves. Yet, a 6-year-old child doesn't have the capacity to filter the advice in the spirit it was intended.
Thus, my client made an unconscious decision that talking about her needs is a burden to others. This became her model of the world for over 30 years, leaving her feeling unsupported even though she was surrounded by a loving husband and terrific friends who would do anything for her if she asked.
Once she became aware of how this pattern blocked her from receiving, she made a new decision when she ran into a girlfriend at the grocery store.
She was honest when her friend asked how she was. Her husband was out of town for work, her kids were being a pain in the butt that day, and she was just overwhelmed and needed her husband to come home and give her some backup.
Later that night, the girlfriend showed up at her house with a bottle of wine and a cheese plate saying "Hey, I thought you might be able to use a girls night!"
Once the kids were in bed, she sat up with her friend and shared some drinks and laughs. She was supported. All she had to do was be vulnerable enough to receive.
Key point: If our thoughts and energy are not supporting our life, then our life will not feel supported. Rather than expecting other people to be mind readers, we must take responsibility for our happiness by supporting ourselves in each moment.
Now over to you!
How can you best support yourself today? What new decision will support your well-being? Who could help you if you asked for support?
Perhaps you are looking for a mentor to help you find clarity on what is keeping you stuck. Don't hesitate to reach out and ask for a FREE coaching session. I have two openings on my schedule this week to offer a 25- Minute Breakthrough Coaching Call.
It's free of charge. During this powerful coaching call, we'll discuss what you want to create and what's REALLY holding you back from getting it (Hint: It's not what you think it is). Plus, you'll leave with one action step you can take to breakthrough and make progress.
Just click here and reserve your time today!