Have you noticed how much people LOVE to talk about their self-love rituals on social media?
In fact, there is an entire #selfcaresunday hashtag trending on Twitter each weekend, where people post photos of expensive purifying masks for their face, the mimosas they drink at brunch, and selfies showing off their new Lululemon clothes they bought for their next yoga class.
And these are all perfect examples of how we confuse "pampering" with "self-love."
The glowing skin you get from using the $100 African Kola Nut Scrub won't connect you to your heart's wisdom.
Whether you get tipsy on mimosas for "Sunday Funday" or hook up to an IV full of fresh green juice, it's not putting you any closer to living your life's purpose.
Likewise, doing all of the downward dogs on your new $90 yoga mat won't help you to better accept and love yourself for who you are.
To be clear, I have no problem with anyone spoiling themselves. I want you to have flawless skin and accessories that make you feel good when you stretch your body. However, there is an important distinction we must make if we are serious personal growth and living a more extraordinary life.
Self-care is not about what you CONSUME. It's about making a daily commitment to taking care of your soul's desires.
Self-care means you are acting in integrity with your highest values.
Self-care means an unwillingness to live solely for the approval of other people.
Self-care means you will not sacrifice yourself to maintain the appearance of what someone else told you makes you a "good person."
Self-care means allowing yourself to feel EVERY emotion, even the negative ones. Self-care is about replacing judgement with curiosity, asking "Where is this anger/sadness/shame coming from? How could it be a call for awareness?"
Self-care means taking inspired, daily action towards your dreams.
Self-care means rejecting relationships with people who take and take without giving back to you.
Self-care means taking responsibility to meet your own needs and solving the problems life presents to you.
Self-care means finding joy in the present, rather than pushing it off into the future after you obtain the "next big thing."
Self-care is not always easy. Yet, it represents a level of life mastery that allows us to live freely, open-heartedly, and without regrets.
My self-care commitments today are two-fold. First, I will make an effort to judge nothing that occurs, trusting that everything in my life is happening "for me" instead of "to me." I will not evaluate, label, or analyze.
Second, I will stop procrastinating on exercise. I am meeting my friend Christina at the park this evening for a boot camp style workout.
Now over to you!
Have you been confusing "pampering" for "radical self-love?" What self-love commitment will you make today? Comment below and let me know so I can personally reply to send support.