Have You Ever Had a Stretch Where You Find Yourself Feeling Grumpy and Negative... But Have No Idea Why?
It happens to the best of us... Yes, even me.
Earlier this week, I found myself in a 24-hour negativity spiral which I struggled to snap out of. I would meditate for an hour, feel better, only to find myself right back in a stream of negative thoughts within 45 minutes. I was feeling more like the 2011 version of me and not the man I've worked hard to become over the last few years.
Rather than force myself to repeat positive affirmations (which weren't really working anyhow), I got still and replaced my frustration with curiosity. Where is my negativity coming from all of a sudden? What's different in my life that might be causing me to hang onto all of this low-vibe energy? Intuitively, my inner wisdom reminded me of a famous quote from Tony Robbins.
"Who you hang out with is who you'll become."
Instantly, everything made sense.
When I started my entrepreneurial journey, I invested tens of thousands of dollars in attending personal development conferences and taking online courses which allowed me to build relationships with a tribe of people who were also "on the path."
These new friendships were people who believed what I believed. They were committed to getting out of the "victim loop" and living in the "accountability loop," doing the deep work to improve their life and create a life built on passion, purpose, and contribution.
These were friends who supported and elevated me to take courageous action in the face of fear and give my gifts to the world. These people made me feel seen. They loved and recognized me for who I was. We all felt safe to come out of the spiritual closet and offer each other unconditional support as we emerged into the new people we were becoming.
These weren't just friendships... they were my soul tribe.
However, as I've focused on marketing my business over the last 6 months, I've stopped investing in travelling to conferences. As my roster of clients has grown, I haven't been taking the time to pick up the phone and put in the time with some of these friendships.
As I've worked to improve my life-work balance, I've been involved in some activities closer to home where I've made new friends. They are all good people who are fun and well-intentioned...
But not everyone is on the same path as I am.
Some of them prefer to dwell in the space of negativity and drama... for days (or weeks) at a time. Some people like to get caught up in judgement and blame, rather than take responsibility to create a life they love.
As I've spent more and more time with some of these people, I allowed myself to take on some of that negative energy.
Now there are some in the self-development world who will say you have to cut all negative people out of your life. I don't entirely agree. Sometimes the negative people are our family, friends, coworkers, and lovers. Sometimes people go through a rough patch.... we can't throw them out like yesterday's garbage.
However, we must set boundaries with negative and low-vibe people so we don't give away all of our energy. We must also make it a priority to continue to commit daily acts of self-care, while also cultivating a community of people who elevate and inspire us to aim higher and keep moving forward. We need to surround ourselves with like-minded people
How do you find your tribe? Quite simply, you put yourself in the places where they hang out. For me, I find my tribe when I go to seminars and yoga studios. If you are less "woo woo" and creativity is your spiritual connection, you might find a writer's group in your area. If community involvement is important to you, it might be time to volunteer for an organization like Habitat for Humanity. You could even go to a website like meetup.com and search for groups in your area specific to your own interests.
Don't expect your tribe to just show up out of thin air. You have to get intentional and create these connections. Show up, smile, engage, and remember this...
The best way to be seen and loved for who you truly are is to show up and allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are.
Leave a comment below and let me know how you can surround yourself with more high-vibe people!