Our stories can keep us stuck

Last week we ended off discussing the stories we tell ourselves, and even the stories we tell others, to justify staying where we are. These stories can keep us stuck, and in a place where we are not our best selves. This leads us into a conversation around how we manifest change; some people call it the law of attraction, manifestation, co-creation. It gets a lot of talk; and yet I don’t think many of us understand the real way it works.

This whole idea has been peddled, commercially, as if you think about something you deserve to have it. Which is not personal growth, that’s entitlement. When we talk about the matrix, and we talk about this idea of manifestation, I asked Sarah if she could break this down.

Here are Sarah’s thoughts…

Well, your reality is personal to you. It’s a projection of your perceived identity. So there is no one reality. For some people, if we grew up with a childhood environment where there was a lot of fault and a lot of blame, we can be a little bit nervy about recognizing our power and about taking responsibility. You take someone’s blindfold off, and they realize they’re in the driver’s seat, this goes one of two ways. They’re either super excited about it. They put their foot down, and they drive it all the way to a big pile of money in Aruba. Or they look at the state of the car up until now, and they’re like this is pretty dinged up. Am I sure I want to take responsibility for how bad it’s been so far? Because that’s necessary. And then some of them will choose to put the blindfold back on and keep saying well; it’s the barriers at the side of the freeway that’s at fault. I’m not going to acknowledge that I’m in the driver’s seat.

So I think what makes it easier for people to understand is to say listen, the law of attraction is one of the 12 universal principles. It’s based on very sound principles of quantum physics. And what we know about quantum physics is that the key difference between Newtonian and quantum physics is that Newtonian’s cause and effect and it applies at the finished product. The finished matrix, the reality that you’re looking at now, the table in front of you, the chair that you’re sitting on, the car that you’re driving in. This is the finished product. If I chuck a cup of coffee across the room, it’s going to break. I'm going to be in trouble, and I’m not going to get my security deposit back. This is cause and effect.

But what if we get out a really big microscope and we look at what the atoms are doing down at the building blocks of reality, actually at the atomic level it’s not Newtonian. Its quantum. It’s not cause and effect. It’s closer to what I describe as effect triggers cause.

The atoms don’t have individual little brains, and they’re deciding what reality to build, and you’re just this hapless victim desperately navigating what they’ve created. They take their direction from you. If you happen to have a microscope powerful enough in your house, which I doubt, but there may be some scientists listening to this, you can watch them do it.

What happened back in 1925, is they noticed that the atoms were responding to what the researcher was thinking and feeling, and who the researcher was. The atomic behavior changes depending on the vibration of the person looking. And atoms appear wherever the researcher was looking for them.

So we can conclude that we are affecting and building reality in real time. It’s just that not everyone understands lag time. They don’t see the magic of it because they don’t realize that it takes a few weeks to a few months, sometimes a year, for the atoms to clump together in the way that they’ve been directing.

And I know that I oversimplify that, but I do it on purpose because I think the topic doesn’t have to be that complicated. And I think if people just recognized that our eyesight simply isn’t strong enough to watch atomic behavior, I think they would understand the magic of it more if they could make that connection.

Sarah’s thoughts made me wonder if we’ve come full circle. Once you lay the foundation for what you want at the level of belief and you clear up any mental blind spots in the way, and then you’re in the point where you can be in, as Sarah calls it, the matrix. You can manifest, and you will have the faith, the trust, the confidence to wait that out while the universe responds to your intention.

Sarah continues…

And I think the part that people miss is the coaching aspect around the idea that you can only welcome in what your system feels safe to welcome in. The bottom line is if you learned growing up that poverty and struggle is what builds character, and you saw your parents responding positively to battling through and responding very negatively to people who had stuff easy and who had a lot of money, then your system perceives that money comes at the sacrifice of your tribe. And it’s not going to let it in.

So I think what’s missing for people is recognizing that just because you say you want something doesn’t mean your nervous system thinks it’s safe to have it. You may say that you want a lot of money, and yet how many people... I read somewhere that 90% of lotto winners are poor again in under five years.

And it didn’t surprise me at all. Because if your entire identity is centered around poverty and struggle, and all of your good attributes and your connections all are within the context of poverty, then your nervous system is only going to see the money as a threat.

Stay tuned for my next blog that will wrap up my conversation with Sarah. We’re going to be focusing on how to do the work. I’ll give you a hint, even coaches like Sarah and I, don’t do it alone!