Do you remember those old "The More You Know" public service announcements from NBC?
A cast member from a 1980's TV show would pop up to talk about an important issue like drug abuse, then a catchy jingle would play while a comet shot across the screen.
The whole idea was "knowledge is power." It was a feel-good sentiment and as a kid, I appreciated knowing the cast members from "Diff'rent Strokes" took an interest in my well being. However, the concept was, and still is flawed. The key to meaningful transformation has less to do with the more you know and everything to do with the more you do.
Knowledge is NOT power. Knowledge is neutral.
The ability to bring your purpose to life is power..... and there are two factors which determine how much power you have:
- Emotional Intelligence- Intellectually understanding what to do.
- Emotional fitness- Applying the knowledge by taking courageous, daily action.
If you are reading this, it's likely you already possess a high degree of high emotional intelligence. You read all of the self-help books, listen to motivational podcasts, watch lots of Oprah, and may have even talked to a coach or therapist in the past.
Yet, if you haven't closed the gap between where you are and where you want to be, you are stuck somewhere between steps one and two. You must build emotional fitness.
You accomplish this the same way you build physical fitness. At the gym, muscle isn't built during the first 9 reps on a bench press. It's during the last few painful reps when the resistance feels heaviest that the muscles fibers start to break down.
This is called microtrauma.
Once you finish your set and let your body rest, the muscle fibers heal and come back together with more thickness. This is how muscle is built... and microtrauma is the catalyst.
And so it is in your everyday life. You build emotional muscle (resiliency) as you allow yourself to heal from your personal microtraumas:
Feeling unworthy of your goals because a parent didn't love you the way you wanted...
Feeling unlovable because of prior heartbreak...
Feeling powerless because of a past victimization...
Staying stuck in a career you hate because you value other people's needs more than your own...
When the emotional weight feels too heavy, we do the equivalent of giving up halfway through the bench press set. We develop behavior patterns designed to protect us from experiencing more pain:
- We put our needs last
- We develop addictions to numb out from the negative feelings
- We assume the worst possible outcome and stay paralyzed by fear
- We distract ourselves by wasting time on social media and Netflix
- We hide behind perfectionism, waiting for the "perfect" solution before we take action
- That leads to procrastination
- We try to control other people and situations rather than focus on ourselves
- We wait for approval of parents or spouses before we make a change
- We wait to read one more book, thinking we're one "A-ha moment" away from finding clarity.
There is no shame in any of these patterns. You developed them early in life as a way to protect yourself from rejection, judgement, and in extreme cases, emotional annihilation. But the truth is what once protected you from pain is now the same thing smothering you from living your purpose.
And you can't change these patterns in a vacuum.
If you knew how to change on your own, you would have already done it. This blog by itself may inspire you to make a change, but the minute you have to leave the soul-sucking career, walk away from toxic relationship, or get started on your new business idea, you will encounter your same protection patterns.
You will tell yourself you have a "6-month plan" to leave your job (procrastination).
You will get caught up in thinking "What if I fail?" (assuming the worst).
You will hide behind your children and say "I need to take care of my family" (Putting others before yourself).
Here's the truth. You can't live the same year 70 years in a row and call it a life. NOW is the time to upgrade your protection patterns to purpose-driven patterns!
Doing this requires 3 key components: a mentor, a structure, and implementation.
I'm writing to you this morning from LA, where I'm finishing an amazing 4-day seminar with one of my mentors. I have done some deep work on myself and I am ready to take my life and business to the next level.
A big part of the vision for my next level includes helping you find your next level.
If you are tired of putting off the life you want until next month or next year...
If you are ready to discover your purpose and actually bring it to life...
If you are ready to feel more abundance, fulfillment, passion, love, creativity, and joy in your life...
If you are ready to move from "comprehending" to "taking courageous action"...
I would love to offer you the chance to apply for my brand new coaching program to help you get unstuck, start taking action, and reinvent your life starting NOW!
Simply click here to apply and I will reach out to schedule a complimentary, 30-minute discovery call so we can trade in your protection patterns for purpose patterns.