This is part 2 of a 3-part money mindset series, designed to help you design an abundance mindset. To read part 1, a discussion about what money really is and how to earn more of it...click here
What Is Your First Memory of Money?
For me, I was 6 years old and my mother took me to visit my grandmother in Chicago. Those annual summer trips were always an awkward experience. While my parents were dead broke when they got married, my Dad worked hard, climbed the ladder and became incredibly successful in his career.
As the income grew, so did the conflict with my mother's family members who struggled. From a very early age, I remember blowups where her family members would get drunk and begin to make hurtful comments about how my mom must think she was "better" than everyone else. The phrase "the power of the money" was often hurled in a condescending way.
As a child, I was hyper-sensitive to the fact my family was doing well and other people resented them for it. I didn't want to be resented, so when my grandmother took me to a drug store one day and offered to buy me a toy, I felt guilty and refused to accept it.
"No Grandma, this costs too many dollars."
Interestingly, I was praised by her family that day for being a sweet and thoughtful little boy.
Fast forward 20 years. I was making six-figures in my radio career, driving a Lexus, and living in a beautiful condo I had just purchased.
But I was terrified of being judged by others for my success.
As a result, I always picked up the bar tab for my group of friends. Whenever I met friends for dinner, I always picked up the check. I would even pay for plane tickets for friends to go away on weekend trips with me.
While none of those actions were inherently bad, they came with a weird, subconscious intention that was less about being generous and more about being liked.
As Gary Zukav explains in his groundbreaking book, The Seat of the Soul, "Every action, thought, and feeling is motivated by an intention, and that intention is a cause that exists as one with an effect."
For me, the intention to be liked and take care of others came with an effect. I was always surrounded by people who needed to be taken care of. This ended up becoming super evident when I married a woman who nearly bled me dry financially.
And as much as it would be easy to blame her for taking advantage of me, it was my own intentions that allowed that situation to happen in the first place.
There is a tremendous connection between our first experiences with money and the relationship we create with it as an adult. If you are struggling in your finances, it's likely you have a subconscious money story (or several) that are blocking you from abundance.
Did you grow up in a home where you were taught "money doesn't grow on trees?" Or perhaps you were told that you have to work really hard just to scrape by. Maybe you parents always reminded you the family "can't afford" the things you wanted.
In order to move beyond that, we must be willing to embrace a core spiritual truth. We live in an abundant Universe. There is more than enough air for everyone to breathe. You can't go to the beach and count the grains of sand... the supply is infinite. You cannot measure the cups of water in the ocean. There is enough abundance to go around because the natural order of the Universe is an ebb and flow where we give and receive.
However, if you have a subconscious belief that you aren't worthy, you aren't valuable, or you simply cannot receive, then you will ultimately block yourself.
Remember my old fears about allowing myself to receive? That was a massively disempowering belief as a new entrepreneur asking people to pay for his services. During those first 6 months, I was undercharging because the 6-year-old part of me felt triggered and afraid to ask for what I was worth.
Growing my business meant growing beyond the old stories which no longer served me.
So this week, spend some time journaling and ask yourself:
- What is my first memory about money?
- What disempowering beliefs could I be carrying which block me from financial abundance (ex: I will be judged for being wealthy, There isn't enough for me, Rich people are evil, etc.)
- What would it take for me to weaken those beliefs and make a new decision which will attract more abundance in my life?
Be sure to reply and let me know if you have any "A-Ha moments."
I will be back later this week with some manifesting hacks to help you get unstuck and attract more money in your life.