In May, I called a trusted mentor and friend and asked him one question?
"Am I kidding myself?"
After experiencing huge business growth from January-April, I felt as if the rug had just been pulled out from underneath me. No less than 4 different business opportunities evaporated in the span of a week. A big media idea I had spent months trying to get off the ground was going nowhere, and my total revenue for the month of May was $1200.
With doors seemingly being slammed in my face on all fronts, I asked my mentor "Is this a sign this isn't meant to be? Should I pursue a different path with my life?"
I was so stuck in the quicksand and focused on what I thought was failure, I forgot one of the main lessons I teach to my own clients...
Life is really just a series of expansions and contractions.
We see this in nature everyday. I sat at the beach yesterday and watched the tide roll in and out. There is a natural ebb and flow to the Universe. The water rushes in to shore, then recedes. The same is true during breathing, as our lungs expand on each inhale and contract on each exhale.
During pregnancy, a contraction is simply the body's way of preparing a woman to give birth to a new being.
The same holds true in other parts of our life. The contractions are just preparing us to create something new.
We experience expansions and contractions in our career, finances, health, and relationships. But because our nervous system is wired to avoid pain rather than experience pleasure, we want to give up when we feel squeezed too tightly.
In doing so, we'll never get to experience the expansion on the other side.
Fortunately, my friend (through a variety of colorful language) told me to man-up and commit to my purpose. The expansion followed almost immediately.
In June, I experienced the biggest revenue month in the history of my business. In July, I topped that number by 33% , while my book 20 Beautiful Menalso became an Amazon best seller. August was another record setting month and in 90 days, I earned more money than I did during my entire first year of entrepreneurship.
I was home free... or so I thought.
September was another contraction as I lost 10 days because of Hurricane Irma. Most recently, I just had a huge expansion as my Life Amplified Podcastdebuted #1 on Apple, while I simultaneously experienced a contraction in my personal life.
It's the ebb and flow of life... and it's okay.
There was a time I would have focused on the setbacks and used them to justify outdated limiting beliefs about what is truly possible for my life. Today, I know it's part of the journey. I have surrendered my will to the Universe and always trust I am being redirected to something bigger and better.
My guess is there is an area of your life today where you are feeling the squeeze of a contraction. But what if the pain of the job layoff was just redirecting you to expand and transition to the passion-filled career you've always dreamed of?
What if your relationship issues were just preparing you for an expansion when you learn to ask for what you need and get those needs met?
What if your dating dry spell is just the contraction before you find your soulmate?
Here are 2 tips to help you navigate any contraction you are facing:
- Accept what is- We all want control over other people or our circumstances, but we will never fully have it. Wishing somebody else would change or blaming things outside of yourself gives you nothing. You need to accept whatever you are facing at this moment without making it worse than it is.
- Focus on what you want- So many people focus their energy on what they DON'T want. (I don't want to be in this awful job, I don't want to be disrespected, etc). However, what we focus on expands. Ultimately, we'll just see more reasons to hate our job and feel disrespected. Shift your focus to what you DO want (I want a job aligned with my passions. I want a partner who respects me and cherishes my feelings).
Whatever challenges you are facing are temporary. The same could be said for your success. Life will continue to ebb and flow whether you want it to or not, but you have 100% control of your attitude you bring to each expansion and contraction.