Celebrating the wins.
You've probably heard people tell you how it's important, but that doesn't mean you are practicing it.
It's a topic which has shown up in my life in a big way lately. After 20 months of ups and downs and oftentimes feeling like I was pushing a boulder up a hill, August was the month I accomplished a gigantic financial goal in my business. One that seemed unrealistic two years ago.
The first thing I did was send a message to my mentor to share the news and ask his opinion on what my next steps should be. How do I keep up the momentum and take things to the next level? Should I raise my rates? Should I launch a new group coaching program? Should I offer a high end, immersive coaching retreat on the beach?
His answer surprised me.
"No. You stop and celebrate your accomplishment. Go out and do something nice with your lady."
S**t. I was stunned that I was a successful life coach who completely missed this.
While I have been enjoying my purpose-filled second chapter of my life, a part of me was still running the same old patterns which eventually led to me crashing and burning in my former career.
Truth be told, I struggled to stop and celebrate my wins for most of my life. In my radio days, I would work tirelessly for years towards professional and financial goals, thinking that reaching it would finally bring a sense of fulfillment. Eventually, I would hit the goal... only to feel empty and end up setting an even bigger goal.
Every year between 2007-2012, I received a plaque from the CEO of the company I worked for in California, acknowledging me as a top performer. I never hung the awards on my office wall, telling myself that was the past and I must keep looking to the future.
So back on the hamster wheel I climbed, chasing goal after goal, pay raise after pay raise, new job after new job, until I emotionally collapsed.
I remember the day my radio station produced a free concert in downtown Boston. Because our brand was so new, we didn't know how many people would show up and if it would be a disaster. As it turned out, 35,000 people flooded City Hall Plaza. It was a huge accomplishment and my team was stoked. After the show, everyone went out and celebrated while I sat by myself thinking about how to make the next event even bigger. I completely missed out on the joy of the moment.
In always looking ahead for my happiness, I forgot how to feel it in the present.
Now history was repeating itself. I spent nearly two years building a business which would help people find their purpose and remove the blocks keeping them from bringing it to life. Growth didn't happen overnight. Along the way, I had to face my fear of failure while simultaneously depleting my savings account. Many other entrepreneurs would have already quit and gone back to a "safe" job. Yet here I was, finally standing at the intersection of purpose and financial abundance....
And the only thing I could think about was how the grass would be even greener another mile down the road.
Don't get me wrong. Goal setting and growth are essential components of our journey through this life...
But so are self-love, gratitude, and joy.
These emotions aren'tmeant to be felt when you get the next job, buy the bigger house, or find the new relationship. They are meant to be experienced now... because life is happening right now.
You can leave a career, relationship, or social situation which isn't serving you. You can trade it in for something that feels better in the short term. However, you bring yourself and your beliefs with you. If I didn't address this limiting belief of having to be "more," I would just become a slave to my business like I did in corporate America. Thankfully, I have a mentor who saw my blind spot so I can do the work to heal this.
Here are two easy steps I've incorporated into my life to stop minimizing my accomplishments and start creating more celebration and joy. I encourage you to implement this into your routine. Not next week. Not next month. Not at the Thanksgiving dinner table (the only day most of us allow ourselves to reflect on what's awesome).
I am challenging you to begin this weekend.
1) Set aside at least 25-minutes between now and Monday to reflect on the month of September. What were the small wins? It doesn't matter if you reached the ultimate goal, but did you take the first messy step to get there? What happened that you can appreciate? What did you do this month that will make you better next month? What can you celebrate?
The goal here should be more than simply keeping a gratitude journal. Allow yourself to truly feel the pride, satisfaction, and engagement which comes from making progress. Intellectually understanding what you did is not enough. Life is an emotional game and we must truly connect to ourselves and FEEL the emotions which elevate us.
2) Share it with the people you love! It's amazing how often I talk to people who feel uncomfortable doing this. The truth is, you might have grown up in a home where you were made to feel bad for your accomplishments. You might have been told that you owning your worth would make others feel bad. That is BS!
Share your wins with someone close to you... and do it with enthusiasm! The goal here is not to "brag" about yourself, it's to share your life with other people. By the way, if you have relationships which encourage you to turn down your dimmer switch in order to make the other person feel better... that's not a real relationship. It's time to step back and reevaluate the people you are surrounding yourself with. Your accomplishments matter and can actually inspire others to live their best life as well!
And if you don't have that person who will celebrate with you, simply leave a comment and share it with me! I'd love to read your responses and send some heartfelt high-fives and encouragement to you.
With Love + Light,
PS- I have openings next week for complimentary, 30-Minute discovery sessions. Are you struggling to find that sense of fulfillment and joy? I've got your back! Schedule your session now by clicking here