"Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind."-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
What decision in your life have you been putting off?
Maybe you want to leave your job. Perhaps you've dreamed of starting your own business. Maybe you have been scared to say "I love you" and go to the next level in a relationship.
Yet, every time you're ready to take the next step, your nervous system freaks out and you start thinking how everything could go wrong. What if you leave your job and hate the new one just as much? What if your business fails and you die broke and homeless behind a Wal-Mart dumpster? What if you say "I love you" and get rejected?
Because human beings are wired to avoid pain rather than experience pleasure, you delay taking new action until the timing is "perfect." You tell yourself you need one more self-help book, another year of saving money, or three more dates with your partner before you make a decision.
You keep waiting to commit.... and you stay stuck for another month... a year... a decade... or a lifetime.
And here's the tragedy. When you allow fear to prevent you from making a committed new decision, you ultimately produce the worst-possible outcome you feared all along.
For instance, the person who wants to leave their soul-sucking job is scared to explore new opportunities. They're afraid the new job won't make them happier and they will end up feeling hopeless and miserable each day in a job they hate. As a result, they put off their job search.
Eventually, a year passes and they still wake up everyday feeling uninspired and hopeless in a job they hate. They're already at the rock bottom they're afraid of.
The person who is afraid to be vulnerable in a relationship is afraid they will be rejected and/or abandoned if they share their deepest emotions with their partner. As a result, they choose to shut down and withhold intimacy for so long, their partner gets frustrated and leaves. Worse yet, by not opening up and disclosing their greatest needs, that person ultimately abandons themselves. They still create the result they fear most.
So how do you know if you are making the right decision?
If the answer is an intuitive yes, and the decision will stretch you out of your comfort zone, it's the right choice.
This looks simple on paper, but can feel terrifying in practice. Why? Because we are raised in a culture where we're taught to value other people's intuition over our own.
As a child, you had to ask for permission to leave the dinner table if you were full (and usually still had to finish your plate before you could excuse yourself.). You had to ask for permission to go outside and play. In school, you had to raise your hand just to speak up and ask a question.
"Honor they father and mother" and "Respect your elders" were messages you heard regularly, which isn't always a bad thing. Parents should set boundaries in the home. However, there was some advice your parents gave you with the best of intentions which didn't serve your highest good. Things like...
"You can't make a living doing ________. That's just a hobby."
"Stop crying. You're acting like a baby."
"Children should be seen, not heard."
Oprah Winfrey tells a story about being raised by her grandmother, who worked as a housekeeper for a well-to-do white family in the south. One day while watching her do laundry, the grandmother told Oprah to pay attention so she could find a "nice white family that would be good to her one day."
Can you imagine if Oprah listened to that advice and never dreamed bigger for her life?
The truth is, your mission in this lifetime is to discover YOUR purpose and bring it to life. Not the purpose your parents, teachers, or spouse told you to have. This will mean you have to tune out the programming from your childhood and get in touch with your intuition.
Intuitive choices will often seem illogical in the moment. They may exist only as a "gut feeling." You may not be able to see a clear path on how to reach your intended destination. Take the first step anyways. It's the step which will bring you to freedom.
Secondly, your new decision must stretch you out of your comfort zone.
If you are a person who is feeling unhappy in one or many parts of your life, consider this. Happiness is a result of making progress in your life. Progress is the result of growth. Growth is the byproduct of taking risks. Taking risks means you are going to feel afraid.
Therefore, the path to happiness comes through facing your greatest fears and slaying the metaphorical dragon in front of you. So unless you are trapped in a burning building or facing certain death, fear is just a sign you are expanding into a greater version of yourself. The quicker your make friends with fear, the quicker you will transform your life.
That's it. Those are the only two criteria to know if you are making the right decision. The only other thing you need is courage, trust, and faith.
Need some help to figure out your first courageous action step? I've got you! Let mehelp you see your blind spots, uncover the hidden blocks keeping you stuck, and teach you how to accelerate your growth. Why wait until January 1 to make a committed decision and take new action towards the life you want? Start today.
I have a few spaces open this week for you to gain clarity on your next right move. Click here to book a complimentary, 30-minute discovery call today. During this powerful coaching session, you and I will:
- Uncover what you REALLY want in your life (It might be different than you thought).
- Discuss what's been holding you back from getting it (It's not always what you think).
- Get clear on what staying stuck has cost you up until now... and why it doesn't have to any longer!
- Discuss your first action step to breaking free and creating a life of purpose!
Click here to schedule. It's easy! By the way, if you don't see a time on my calendar that works for you, just reply to this email and we will find a time to connect.
I'm so excited to speak with you one-on-one!